They don't want other People to Understand Them

There must be reasons for this, probably quite a few of them. But the proper way of dealing with this is to notice the problem first, then figure out the reason for it.,  

For example, the religion of my family is Mormonism. which was founded by Joseph Smith, a strange person. Every member of this religion should be asking themselves "What was he like?"

But they will quickly find that this question cannot be easily answered, because he didn't want it answered. He wanted to remain a mystery, which would be answered as circumstances dictated. 

For example, he wanted to get into Banking and founded the Kirtland Safety Society, (KSS) which quickly went broke.