What We Really Are

Many people keep their real selves carefully hidden. I knew a woman like this, her name was Carol.

I was working in Silicon Valley then, in the Nineties. I met her at a clothing-optional resort. I didn't know the place existed, I probably went there to attend some kind of workshop. That is what people did back then, they attended workshops of all kinds, every weekend.

Everyone in this workshop was fully clothed. But Carol stood out because I could see she knew her mind. We started dating, and I got to know her. She had worked in publishing in NYC and knew about the most interesting books.

But then her mind changed. She became obsessed with dietary supplements. She bought harmonically-induced clay solutions, that had classical music played to it. She tried it, and it made her feel better. She tried to sell it to other people, and she was frequently invited to parties as one of the local interesting people, where she exhibited a whole suitcase of these products.

She was so poor, she was sleeping in her car underneath bridges. Housing was a problem, but she was clever and she was soon cooking muffins for breakfast at a resort on an island near Seattle because she could get up early, and cooking them was so easy.

But then her mind deteriorated some more and she stopped emailing me in Costa Rica.

Because she didn't want me to see what she had really become.