People are Ashamed by What they have Become

This is what I see people feeling, but not what most people feel. What do they feel? Hard to tell, but it is not shame. At least not consciously, but unconsciously - I am sure that is what they feel.

What else can they feel, when they are being honest with themselves?

"But they are not being honest with themselves," you may be saying. "Realizing what they are, would be too a painful experience, for them to be aware of. So they are not aware of what they are feeling!"

I think you are right.

Allow me to draw a parallel to my awareness of my financial situation - a sore subject, I can assure you. I have to live on my American Social Security retirement income - of $1,400 a month. I am not doing a good job of this, and I am ashamed to admit it.

But I have come up with a plan. I will log into my bank account every day, and plot my account balance, on graph paper - day by day. But this will not be enough, I need to tell if my spending is within the proper limits, as the month progresses.

I can predict some of my expenses easily, because they are the same every month. My rent payment, for example - and my medical insurance.

What I cannot predict, are the many online payments that keep showing up. I support some American politicians, and their parties - with small recurring payments ($5 or $10 a month) and I intend to keep doing this. And I will continue to support other charities also, such as the United Nations Refugee Fund.

But once other organizations discover I am doing this - they want my support also. And they are clever, about how they do this. Once I show an interest in one cause, other related causes want my support also.

Since these are credit card charges, I can ask my bank to refund them (these are called charge backs, and they are not hard to do, but they are a nuisance).

If you want to control your bank account, you have to be aggressive about doing this.